It had to take hold eventually. Shane Warne was an expert (if you believe the media) and now it seems our teens using it, and more graphically than you may know. It's is messaging taken to the next level - sexting - and as the name suggests, it is sex by text message on the mobile or cell phone.
Apparantly it is not just messaging either. Many teens are including photo, video or even life images - I will leave the rest to your imagination - let's just say they are not shy.
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Of course texting has been around for a while and we know of some of the issues. Texting while driving is said to be responsible for many accidents. Texting has also been used to cheat on tests. Judging by the number of ads on TV late at night the mobile phone (or cell phone) is also frequently used for sexual flirtation. The next step had to be sexting.
As parents, the question is, what can you do about it? Do you know it is happening? Furthermore, as a parent, what rights do you have to take their phone and examine its contents? These are all difficult issues. If your paying the phone bill you would have the right to take the phone, but would you have the right to read the messages or view the photos or videos?
Communication is one of the most important keys in any parent - teen relationship. If you have good open and honest communication channels then you can discuss these types of issues.
The problem I have with the whole sexting situation is the lack of control that most teens display. Today's boyfriend or girlfriend is tomorrow's enemy number one - and we know how vindictive they can be. Personal photos, videos or simply text messages can be zoomed around the world to other phones and the internet in seconds. Teens don't consider these issues until it is too late.
I don't like the idea of sexting at all; I certainly don't like the idea of teens spreading personal stuff around the world as they can (and do). As parent we can't stop them - perhaps our role is to point out the obvious. This information can and does get out into the wider world - is that what they want. Caution may be a parents only weapon.
When children (teens?) as young as 12 or 13 are involved, we need to provide some sort of counsel - picking up the pieces down the track is even harder.
Even though many modern smartphones such as the iPhone 4S may contain parental controls or downloadable apps to control web access, these will offer little assurances when it comes to sexting. While you could partially control what websites are visited or that only suitable music and apps are available, there is no way of controlling what children write in their text messages.
Some parental control apps, such as the one found on the iPhone, can allow you to disable the camera which may go some way to comfort parents worried about picture sexting. But it would be unfair to disable a phone's camera for normal use just because it has a potential for misuse.
Pics are the problem
The actual text messages themselves, while it would cause me stress, is not something I would focus on; if they aren't using texts to say this stuff, theres tons of other ways: phone, myspace, aol, etc. The problem I would really concern myself with would be the picture messages: a text can be disputed that someone else may have written it, but if you take a picture of yourself and send it to someone else who shares that pic, that you cannot dispute.
We had a young girl, 16 or so, in the community who did such a thing, not only sent one picture to her high school boyfriend, but sent about 30. What happened? They broke up a few months later, and this guy, for whatever reason, sent the pics to a few of his friends. It took about 3 days before it reached my mailbox, meaning that everyone else had them at that point. The girl and her family have since moved because of the embarrassment.
Pictures/video can potentially follow someone for the rest of their lives. Whether the kids are having sex or not, doesnt matter really, there isn't a whole lot that can be done to stop that. This picture thing though, thats something to have serious concern about. Thankfully my little ones are nowhere near that stage, so I've some time before I need to go mental over it.
Piffle
a panic over nothing, let them get on with it, bigger fish to fry, usual panic about kids and sex
Thanks
Hi Roy
Thanks for comment - I think your words should become the parenting mantra of the 21st century:
having my children within my viewing distance, (rather) than within wireless distance.
cheers
les
Have Your Teens Joined The Sexting Craze?
I thankfully have a few years to go with my kids, but my current attitude is anti-mobile phone. I find it incredulous that some of their 8 year old friends already have phones. The parents usually ply the safety aspect, but I'd rather rely on having my children within my viewing distance, than within wireless distance.
Thanks and
I have a very simple policy - if someone takes the trouble of adding me to their blog roll and their site is one I would recommend to others - I have no hesitation adding them to my blog roll.
I have to share the good sites with everyone :)
thanks but...
thanks but don't feel you have to do that...I just wanted to let you know as I was doing it at the time!
Likewise
I have added you as well
scary technology!
I am dreading this stage of life...I can't even imagine what technology will offer LP when she's older! Just dropping by to say I am adding you to my blogroll :) Thought you'd like to know! Cheers, Louisa
Influences
Hi Trish
Thanks for continuing to visit and comment. You raise a valid point - no matter how well we raise our kids our work is quickly undone by their peers. We need to convince our kids they don't have to follow their peers - they should be individuals - leaders even if possible.
cheers les
privacy
It is hard to find a balance between trusting them and keeping an eye on them and their friends.
I am appalled at the stuff the so called contacts of my teen - the profile message they write on hotmail or myspace too.
I wonder where their parents are .
Its A Fine Line Between Protecting And Teaching Responsibility
I was going to suggest going with a phone plan rather than prepaid as you get itemised billing and then are able to ban certain numbers on the phone, but then you have the worries of how much they spend. Can't win either way you look at it.
I think the real solution lies in parents actually giving a damn about their kids and educating them of the risks their behaviours have. too many parents are letting their teens 'live independantly, but dependantly'and they have no idea who their kids really are. Parents and teens are co-habitating, but they are still complete strangers at the same time.
Our girls will be raised that it is a privilege to have a phone, not a right. They abuse it, they lose it. seems fair considering more than likely, I'll be the one paying for it any way. They will also be warned of what could potentially happen too, as that is my responsibility.,
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