If you are a woman looking to start a family, or perhaps add to a your family, you may be becoming confused with all the advice that is now coming out. We wrote a few days ago about the types of food to eat to prevent allergies. Researchers are now finding that folic acid may be a leading cause of asthma in young children.

There is a bright side to this story however. Folic acid is an essential additive that helps to prevent neural tube defects (like spina bifida) in new borns. A diet that is poor in folic acid has been linked to increased incidents of these problems.

However, and here is the good news, extra folic acid is only needed prior to conception and in the first few months of pregnancy. Certainly by the end of the first trimester the need for extra folic acid is gone. The advice for women who are trying to get pregnant is to take folic acid supplements before conception and not more than several weeks into their pregnancy.

What research is showing is that for those women who continue to take increased doses of folic acid (over and above normal daily requirements for a non pregnant woman), there is a corresponding rise in the incidence of asthma in their young children. What is interesting however is the following statement:

"Dr Davies said having a diet rich in green leafy vegetables, certain nuts and fruits known to be sources of folate (the natural form of folic acid) did not carry an asthma risk."

So natural forms of folic acid are okay - it is only the supplements. It makes you wonder if it is the folic acid, the source of the folic acid when manufacturing these supplements, the carrier that is holding the folic acid, or whether fresh fruit and vegetables carry other vital compounds that help to neutralize any negative effects - or perhaps all of the above.

I have to say I have never been a big promoter of the 'fresh is best' kind - but I am starting to change my tune a little. Of course, fresh is best but it can also be the most expensive whereas frozen to me has always been the most convenient.

The message now for new mums to be - take folate (folic acid) before and for the first month of pregnancy, then stop taking extra folate. By all means keep on eating your fresh fruit and veg.

Sign language is often something that we as parents ignore. There is a stigma attached I think that says it's only for the hearing impaired. Sorry to burst your bubble on this - every parent and every child can benefit from learning to sign - and not because they can communicate with the hearing impaired.

In fact, by learning to sign with your baby, you will learn to communicate at much earlier age. Babies use sign language all the time - we just don't understand it. True, it is very basic and often involves pointing more than anything else - but it is a form of sign language.

I use it too. I noticed yesterday with my six year old. She was creating problems with her sisters - I just pointed to her room - she understood what and why! Again, it is very basic. The question then is whether or not you can build that into a fully fledged sign language routine. You can and it isn't that hard.

For those really interested in baby sign language - I suggest you visit Australia's leading proponent, Jackie Durnin at Australian Baby Hands. She has created resources (including a free wall chart) based on Auslan that can get you started in the use of baby sign language. There are also classes held around Australia that can help you to learn to sign effectively.

Visit the site and watch the video - you will be amazed at how well a youngster can communicate. One reason that two year olds throw tantrums is because of the frustrations caused by their inability to communicate what they want to us. Sign language breaks through that barrier and reduces that frustration. It also reduces the frequency of tantrums.

If you're in Australia and you're looking for a new career - consider taking on a Baby Hands Institute franchise. It is a challenging career move that may not make you millions. However, the rewards are in the results and there will be plenty of them.

See related articles on Australian Baby Hands:

Using Sign Language with Toddlers:
Why I signed with my baby

I wish I had the definitive answer to that question. However, I have written in the past and I will continue to promote several strategies that research scientist are now starting to advocate. Our children don't have to suffer from allergies particularly allergies that our parents have never heard about.

Some allergies seem to be inherited. However, even people with inherited allergies seem to survive better if raised along these lines.

It seems strange to me that in some cultures food allergies are unknown. It is these societies that science is now examining trying to determine what they do that is different to us. I can tell you in a nutshell.

Sterilize And Be Damned

People in societies that are allergy free don't sterilize everything - in fact, they don't really sterilize anything. Kids are allowed to play in dirt - eat it even. If they drop their food, guess what, they pick it up, dust it off and continuing eating. I can hear you all saying how gross that sounds - and it does, but only because we have been led to believe that cleanliness and hygiene are so important.

Let me tell you something - when we clean our homes use anti-bacterial products - we are killing both the good and the bad bugs. Our bodies need the good bugs. Those bugs help us digest food. They also help us to develop strong immune systems. We also need a smattering of bad bugs. Yes - we will get an upset tummy from them, but we are building immunities and making our immune system stronger. I like what one person had to say - by killing all bacteria, both good and bad, our immune systems are left with nothing to do so they go and find something to do - and that is fight against what we eat - in other words, an allergy

Baby Knows Best

Not regimenting babies feed time. Some people wish that babies were born with user manuals. I am glad they are not. We so regiment a babies life. At three months they should do this, at six months something else. Start solids at 8 months but only give them very weak rice cereal.

What a load of garbage. Babies are people - people are individuals and individuals are different. You cannot apply a set of rules to a baby unless you generalize it. For example, when it comes to food, rather than putting an age on when they start solids, the rule should be - let baby decide. And they will. They will try and take food out of your hand, off your plate, even out of your mouth if they can. When baby starts reaching for food, they are ready to start sampling.

Then second part of this rule is that there is no rule on what they can try. Of course, being able to actually eat something is important so don't try shoveling a chunk of rump steak down their throat. Give baby eggs, milk, wheat and nuts from an early age. Let them experiment with food.

Researchers are now finding that in societies that don't have allergies, the combination of breast feeding and the early introduction of solids is the common thread - and the thread that is so different in western cultures.

Fresh Has Always Been Best

The final piece of the puzzle is processed foods. Cultures that eat no processed food have no allergies. We in the west live off the stuff. Fresh food, picked straight from tree/bush or dug from the ground is always best. Their meat has not antibiotics, chemicals or additives of any kind.

Those that keep pigs feed them scraps - funny, that's what they did when I was growing up. The local pig farmer visited the school to collect all the scraps. Not today - oh no, we need to keep the pigs in concrete jails and feed them on the best in chemicals. I am sure it's an improvement!

How To Keep Our Kids Allergy Free

There are no guarantees - however, those three components together seem to reduce the incidence of asthma and allergies completely. I am not talking about a 50% reduction - this is a 100% reduction.

So to summarize: when ever possible, breast feed to give baby a good boost to their immune system. Feed baby solids when baby is ready, not when the guide books say. Feed them a range of foods including those on the allergy lists - don't be afraid to experiment with food, that's how they learn what. Let them eat dirt, let them play in the dirt and stop sterilizing your home. Sure, keep it clean but understand the difference between clean and sterilized - we don't need sterilizing. Finally, breast feed where possible and steer away from processed foods - rely instead on fresh.

There was a TV report today along these lines - you may be interested in reading the doctor/reporters blog on his findings after visiting a community that was 100% allergy free. It will make you think.

It seems that every year in the lead up to Christmas a new fad 'must have' toy hits the toy shop shelves. Talk about viral marketing gone mad. The problem is, most kids show little interest to start with, so many parents do the same. You know where this is going don't you? Yep - a week or two before Christmas little Johnny or little Mary suddenly discover this new toy and 'must have it'. What do we do as parents, we search everywhere in the vain hope of finding a toy shop that still has some in stock.

Does it sound familiar at all? I am sure for many parents it does. So what are these new toys that seems to be taking the online market place by storm. Zhu Zhu Pets (formerly Go Go Pets) are toy pet hamsters. They are not your ordinary everyday pet hamsters. Oh no. They are mechanized little critters that have been programed with personalities and each pet has its own personality.

Like all fad toys, they come with accessories. A special house that the pet hamster runs around in; a little car - the list goes on. They are apparently very cute little critters that everyone loves once they get their hands on one. There are several different colors with each pet having its own name.

They seem to be hard to find in regular stores. Amazon still has some in stock so I suggest you grab them while you can if you are interested in them. Zhu Zhu Pet Hamsters - what next I wonder - here is a short video of them in action. Just don't let the kids see it.

I guess the opposite of that question is can you give birth to a dumb kid? Of course, it all depends on what you classify as intelligent or dumb! In reality, barring any birth defects, all children art born with the ability to learn. They have to survive. They learn very early that crying leads to attention.

We now know that certain products cause certain problems. Alcohol and other drugs can have severe affects on the unborn baby including learning difficulties. The chemicals in cigarettes are also thought to have side affects. Mercury from deep sea fish can lead to miscarriages and certain bacteria's found in foods such as cream cheese can also lead to a miscarriage.

Is the opposite also true? One mother, Jeannette Bolvary, has taken things to a higher level. A recent report on Today Tonight looked at food and whether or not women could give birth to smarter kids. It's an interesting thought and one that she has turned into a fairly popular book (you can obtain it through Amazon if you're interested).

Can leafy green vegetables, fresh fish, fruit and whole grains help the infant while it is still in the womb. I think we can all agree on one point - it won't hurt the baby. Can it make the baby smarter? Why not. Many of these same foods are recommended to help us think a little clearer especially if we avoid all the junky and supposed toxic foods.

There is no research behind any of this but common sense would suggest that simply cutting out toxic foods will make us feel better. The question is - which foods are toxic. One group will say that coffee is toxic whilst another group will claim it is full of anti-oxidants.

Smarter kids? Is it the food, or is it more a case of a parent wanting a smarter kid; eating the right food; but then spending a lot more quality time with the child to ensure they do learn things early. I wonder, if they could spend the same amount of time with a child after eating a junk food diet during pregnancy, would the child also show signs of early development. I think they would.

Having said that, good food is always going to be better in the long run and I am not suggesting you eat junk food all the way through your pregnancy. What I am suggesting is that sometimes we need to look at a broader range of factors when it comes to how intelligent out children. I worry when someone says - just eat this and you will have much smarter children. They could be right, the problem is some parent say great, I will eat this, my child will be smarter, I DON'T NEED TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH THEM NOW!

It is quality time with your children that ultimately sets them on the right course. The food is just the fuel that makes your job as a parent a little easier. They are more receptive with the right food whereas junk food tends to shorten concentration levels. That is also the case whilst still in the womb.

I would be interested in your thoughts on this issue - does food affect the intelligence of the unborn baby?

According to the experts, if you are ready to have a baby then you need to be watching what you eat. Yeah like that's new to everyone. We all know that certain foods are good and some others are bad. Deep sea fish may contain high levels of mercury, a heavy metal strongly associated with miscarriages.

However boffins (um scientists) have discovered that vegetarian men are more likely to have compromised sperm. Just don't go crazy - high protein diets also compromise sperm.

Believe it or not, it is not what you eat during pregnancy that counts. Women, who's diets prior to conception are low in the B vitamins B12, folic acid and the amino acid methionine tend to have fatter boys - not girls, boys.

What about stress. If you are in a stressful job and you are thinking of getting pregnant, quit six months before and de-stress. Stress before conception produces babies that are more prone to anxiety, hyper-activity and social problems.

Finally, researchers have concluded that men with higher intelligence produce better quality sperm. Well, all I can say is that judging from what I have seen, the not so intelligent men may not have better quality sperm, they certainly have lots of it - or at least, they produce lots of children. Intelligent men seem to have fewer children - oh yeah, they are more intelligent aren't they? But I have five - what does that make me?

So ladies - here is the bottom line. If you are looking to get pregnant, find an intelligent man, make sure he is not a vegetarian or a high protein freak. You need to quit your job and de-stress and eat a diet high in in the B vitamins B12, folic acid and the amino acid methionine - but low in deep sea fish.

There is one upside to all of this - scientist also recommend, if you want to get pregnant, to really put on a show and have the wildest sex possible. It seems wild, energetic and uninhibited sex increases your chances of getting pregnant. Sperm production goes through the roof and the sperms ability to get to and fertilize the egg increases. I told you there was an upside.

Source - Australian Women's Health

photo credit: Gustavo (lu7frb)

There are a lot of websites around that provide helpful information for parents. Many of them are blogs, some are forums, and some are commercial companies. Nutricia is a commercial infant formula that is available in Australia and New Zealand - perhaps elsewhere as well. I am not here to promote the formula today, I haven't used it so I have no idea how good (or bad) it is.

Club Nutricia however is their parenting website where they offer assistance across many levels. What does serve Nutricia well in my eyes is that, despite selling infant formulas, they are right behind the move to encourage to mothers to breast feed whenever possible.

The site has helpful guides for both mums and dads, includes a forum to discuss issues, and employs health professionals to answer questions. They also have a one-to-one live chat service providing advice and answering questions. This may be particularly helpful to those parents that are losing sleep, or who have a sudden concern over their youngster. They also have a 1800 advisory service.

If you're Australian or a Kiwi, and a new parent (or about to become one), it may be well worth paying their site a visit.

This is a curly issue that keeps raising its head in our society. I think the issue should be broken down into two streams - the rights of the child and the benefits to society. I don't think that parents have any 'rights' when it comes to this issue. So let's look at each of the issues.

The rights of the child

Children have rights as we all do. However, with rights comes a certain element of responsibility, a factor that most expert would agree only become possible around the age of 10. If children under ten have little concept of 'responsibility', is it right to then punish them when they act irresponsibly.

We need to take this issue to another level here. Children also have a right to be raised in such a way they know right from wrong, they are prepared to take on responsibility when ready, and, in the longer term, ready to take on the world.

Are we denying a child their rights by not using a smack as part of that teaching? That in a way is the debate at hand and I will return to this issue shortly. Yes, children have rights but I wonder if we are clarifying them correctly.

The rights of society

Do we as parents owe anything to society in general. We are part of society and our children are a part of our society. When they grow up into adults it is hoped they will play an active part in our society. As parents we have an obligation to ensure that our children enter adulthood with all the necessary skills, knowledge and behavioral patterns that will allow them to play a positive role in society.

So, society has a right to expect parents to raise their children correctly using all possible strategies to reach that outcome. Does society accept that smacking is a legitimate strategy?

Is smacking an effective form of teaching?

Punishment in some form has been around for centuries as one of the methods used teach children right from wrong. The concept probably has its origins in cave man days - everyone learned that pain signified a problem and was used as a learning tool. Cave man soon learned that putting a hand in the fire hurt. When a child went to put their hand in the fire, rather than learning from the experience (and possibly suffering bad burns), the parent stepped in and gave the child a smack across the hand.

The problem with using that form of punishment is what the child learned. They did not learn that fire was dangerous - they learned that going near the fire whilst someone else was around was dangerous. Based on that example, smacking is useless as a punishment tool.

Modern society has other tools that can now be incorporated. Cave man was a poor communicator. We are (or should be) much better communicators. A smack is not JUST a smack. It needs to be followed up with language. Using the fire example, if you smack the child's hand telling them that the fire is dangerous - they now relate the smack to the fact that fire is dangerous (and so is going near it with mom around).

The rights of the parent

I said earlier that parents don't have any 'rights' when it comes to smacking. I believe they have an obligation to raise children in such a way that these children grow into capable adults.

This I think is where society is letting parents down. Academics, many of whom have never been parents, are trying to dictate a no smack approach to the way parents deal with children. The one thing I have noticed over the last 20 years is the rapid downhill decline in the respect that our youth show towards others. There is little discipline in their actions and no respect for people, property or themselves.

The dropping of corporal punishment in schools together with the attempts to prevent parents from punishing their children has to be one of the causes of today's problems. Not the only cause but it is one of the core causes.

It is interesting to see a survey conducted today that has shown that 92% of 1500 respondents were in favour of allowing parents to smack without fear of arrest. Of course, there is smacking and there is smacking and I don't accept the extremes.

There used to be an old saying - spare the rod and spoil the child - I think there may be some truth in that old saying.

photo credit: Lawrence Whittemore

Do your little ones love Andy's Airplanes? If so this could be a great time to sign them up as a fan. For starters, there is a free video plus, if you're quick, a few other freebies I noticed today.

Andy's Airplanes are the winners of many awards when it comes to children's entertainment. Winning a parents award is no mean in feat in itself - but then, given the educational value I can see why.

As if winning parenting awards wasn't enough, Andy's Airplanes also wins the vote when it comes to the kids themselves. They will sit in front of an Andy's Airplanes movie without getting bored - that takes some doing for most kids.

The makers of Andy's Airplanes have got the mix of education and entertainment spot on - that's what makes them so good. If you have any little ones that love Andy's Airplanes, check out their site - your kids will love it.

Kids - they say that out of the mouths of babes come truths - well, here are a few smart A* kids - just ask their teachers!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

I must admit I have spent a rather enjoyable day trolling through all the sites listed as 'father' sites on Alexa trying to dig out the top ten. Okay, I found the top ten fairly quickly, my time was spent reading those blogs - some captivated me for quite some time - there are some real gems there if you're a father like me.

Rather than just list the sites, I have also included some of my favourite posts from these blogs. This blog was listed in the top ten but I have left it off the list this time. Without further ado - here are the top ten father blogs (according to Alexa):

There are lot of areas related to raising children that many parents aren't aware of. Language is one of them. Did you know that a child raised in a multi-lingual family will pick up those languages very quickly - at least, the spoken form. You can have a three or four year old speaking in two or three different languages, and that is without any conscious education on the part of the parents.

In fact for parents, and those around them, the difficulty can be in understanding the child as they will mix the languages together at times. By the time they are five or six they will have settled more and will respond to the right person using the correct language.

The top ten parenting sites on Alexa are almost all commercial sites. That's not meant to denigrate them, it's just a fact. They do serve a purpose however and given they do receive more traffic than non commercial sites means they must be providing a service that parents need. Since this is a higher level category, there is some duplication with the previous posts in this series.

Here are the top ten parenting sites according to Alexa.

The number of web sites in the single parent category is pretty slim with only 19 listed in total. Most of the sites listed are either support sites, forums or a combination of both.

If you are a single parent then I suggest you check a few of them out - they may be able to offer some support, advice or the chance to network with other single parents.

Yesterday we published the Top Ten Father Sites According To Alexa - today it is the top ten mother sites. There are 246 sites listed as 'mother' sites.

There is one thing I have noticed - all sites listed seem to have DMOZ entries. I don't know if that just coincidence. It is something that I am going to check on.

In the meantime, here are the top ten mother sites according to Alexa.