In Australia we have an agency known as the Child Support Agency. Their role is to collect child support from the non-custodial parent and pay it to the custodial. They assess what should be paid and you pay it. If you don't, they take it out of your paycheck or from anywhere else.
There are a growing number of fathers in this situation who have decided to undergo DNA tests to see if in fact they are the biological father. 25% of those tested so far have been negative when it comes to fatherhood. In other words, they have been paying child support for a child that is biologically not theirs.
Courts are now ruling that the Child Support Agency must repay these fathers the money they have take as child support payments. I guess in the long run this money will be taken away from the mother unless she can tell the agency who the real father is.
There is now talk of having all children DNA tested at birth to ensure the parents are who they say they are. I can see good points to this process and bad points. However, I feel the whole DNA issues misses one vital point. It is not who the biological father is that matters, it is who has been the 'dad' for these kids.
Custodial parents need to start being more inclusive in the parenting roles. Too frequently we hear of non custodial parents turning up for access visits only to be turned away for a variety of reasons. When it starts to happen on a regular basis you know there are issues that need to be dealt with.
Fathers are not taking DNA tests to save child support payments. Many are taking these tests to determine if they are the father based on the mothers interference with access. For fathers who, it turns out are not fathers, this alleviates the need to chase up access visits. They walk away. Once again, the child is the ultimate loser.
Question: Do you support DNA testing to determine parenting?
It Should Be Compulsory Before Birth Certificates Are Issued
If DNA testing is done at birth, for all babies, then disputes over who is biologically and legally responsible for a child will be stopped before they can start. There are so many men out there who have lived their lives believing they are biologically the father or a child/ren, only to find that their partner hasn't exactly been as faithful as first thought. Often, the woman has knowingly let the duped father believe he's the dad in order to ensure that someone, anyone, is being financially responsible for the child. In any family breakdown, the child is always going to be the one who suffers, so DNA testing at birth would ensure the truth is known and unable to be hidden from the child.
I do firmly believe though, that their is a difference between a father and a dad. Dad is the person who is there for a child, biologically connected or not- Father is just the sperm donor, who may or may not become Dad.
P.S. There is no doubt Les has fathered our 5 girls, they are just as cheeky and mischievious as thier Father and Dad.
The Real Father
Hi Bryan - thanks for your comments. I think your last sentence is what strikes me as being the most important. You can have a biological father and you can have a real dad. I know which one I would prefer to have and prefer to be!
I have added your site to my blogroll - hope you don't mind!
DNA Testing
You certainly raise an emotional and ethical dilemma here. This hits home for me because my biological father was not known to me until I sought him out in my early thirties and my mom never married, so having a biological or custodial dad was never an option. The DNA testing can certainly force accountability and answer questions that often trouble parents and children. But you're right, it's the child who ultimately suffers. Of course we always want the ideal, but wouldn't it be great if the choice to have sex meant a commitment to care for a child should the responsibility present itself? I don't have the answers but I admire those who take their role as father seriously and do my best to provide for my children what I never had. I also admire those who take their role as father seriously even when they are not the biological father. This to me is the definition of a "real" father.
More Reading
Thanks for your input John. Readers may want to read your post on the topic as well - What do you know, the thieves don’t get to keep the cash. I think your title sums it up nicely. What is needed in the current environment is a DNA test BEFORE any child support orders are made.
cheers les
Here's the thing, though
When the relationship has been based on a lie, what then does that tell you? Personally I think the OP hit it on the nail but there are other issues, particularly when the father didn't even have a chance to contest in the first place (see Dad's Duped for a glaring example of this happening.) And the typical response in most of these cases: blame the father for trusting the wife.
Father's Having DNA Tests
As an adoptive parent myself, I whole-heartedly agree that it's not the DNA that is responsible for raising the child, but the acting parent.
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