The preteen years – ten to thirteen. Your youngsters are about to leave childhood behind and adulthood is rapidly approaching. What they forget is that need to traverse those in between teen years. With hormones starting to kick in and the realization that today they are capable of doing things that they could not do yesterday the youth of today are growing up faster than anyone is prepared for. Add to this the pressure from their peers and the never ending flood of mixed messages from the media and you have one totally confused preteen.
When mum or dad tell them no, their first reaction is WHY. Clear, loud and often with venom. Yet tomorrow, that same statement will be met with understanding and politeness.
|
Links To More Suggestions |
It would be easy to blame hormones. It would be easy to blame peer pressure. It is also easy to blame the media, the internet and million other reasons. The bottom line is that this is the age that our children, as they approach adulthood, start to define themselves as individuals.
At this age your child is simply trying to answer the age old question, ‘who am I’. By pushing boundaries they are trying our patience. They are also testing their own abilities. They are learning, albeit the hard way, the art of negotiation; the art of compromise; even the art of blackmail and bribery. At this age they start to learn that charm, cunning, guile, brute strength and intimidation can be powerful tools.
How do you handle a child in this situation? The simple answer is that you don’t. It is a stage in every human’s development. The real answer is probably to learn to survive this period of their lives.
If I have a word of advice to parents with preteen children, keep all communication channels open. Try to understand their situation but in saying that, stick to your beliefs and be firm in your decisions. Don’t make a decision in an indecisive way – this displays a weakness that preteens will try to exploit.
Clearly communicate your decisions and your reasons behind the decision. At the same time, learn to start letting go – within reason. Set boundaries that are fair but that can be relaxed as the child gets older and earns the right to have those boundaries relaxed. Again, it communication that counts most.
Your youngster is growing up – it’s your job to help them. I just wish it wasn’t their job to make it as hard as possible for us.
Nervous Stage for Parents
Even I fear how will I handle and manage my kids when they reach their teens. It is terrifying for parents if their kids slip off their hands, they remain helpless as they watch their child fade away. Keeping a firm control on them is hard when you have to act like their friends too. It is a never ending juggle in order to help them pass this phase.
thank you
thats for sure, man
Great ideas
This is a great blogging site and so interesting. My children are 6 and 8 but it is great to know what lies ahead. Keep up the advice for all ages, I'll be staying tuned in, like your style and interests ;)
Preteens
Looking back on raising my three sons, I see my mistakes. One that I wish I could really, really go back and change would be not having as much respect for them as I expected them to have for me.
One of my other big mistakes was things I said (shouted) in anger.
The parent must really be the adult and think before acting or speaking when times get tough. And with preteens it can be very ugly sometimes!
Great info about pre teens
Many of us have indeed wondered about our youth thanks for the kind words here" it is very important that kids get the right word in life ;)
Communication is definitely
Communication is definitely the key. It has to be 2 way, we as parents have to be willing to listen. They will talk to us, it may be when we're least expecting it, but they will talk to us.
Post new comment